So you have chosen aloneness. You have chosen the security and the relative freedom of solitude, because there is no risk involved. You can stay up every night and watch your TV shows and eat ice cream out of the box and scroll through your Tumblr and never let your brain sit still, not even for a moment. You can fill your days up with books and coffees and trips to the store where you forget what you wanted the second you walk in the automatic sliding door. You can do so many little, pointless things throughout the day that all you can think of is how badly you want to sleep, how heavy your whole body is, how much your feet hurt. You can wear yourself out again and again on the pavement, and you do, and it feels good.
No one will ever bridge that gap and point to your stomach or your hair or your eyes in the mirror and magically make you see the wonderful things about getting to be next to you. And maybe that’s it, after all, this fear that no one will ever truly feel about you the way you want to be felt about. Maybe what you want is someone to make you love yourself, to put sense into all that positive rhetoric, to make it so the aloneness of TV and blasting music in your ears at all times isn’t the most happy place you can think of. Maybe you want someone who makes you so sure of how wonderful things are that you cannot help but to tell them your feelings first, even at the risk of being humiliated. Because you will know that, when you’re telling them you love them, what you’re really saying is “I love who I become when I am with you.
nickname: lyss, lysser
favorite flower: ah. um. er. daisies are nice. sunflowers too. Roses. flora.
favorite fruit: apples or grapes!
favorite ice-cream flavor: i still dream about the macadamia nut ice cream from Costa Rica, and while I was on the Cape i had this super good burnt butter brownie brown sugar ice cream that was to DIE FOR, but overall I guess mint chip
favorite pastime: reading, doodling, netflix bingeing
day or night: night always but I wanna be more day-ish
chocolate or vanilla: usually vanilla
how do you take you coffee/tea: don’t drink coffee, hardly tea but it’s usually chai without anything addedyour catchphrase: i say “duuuuuuuuuuude” a lot. “Not cool”, also been saying “son” at the end of everything like, “get outta here, son” I don’t know I’m an embarassment to society
Man, nothing like an emotional breakdown because of a laundry basket to start off the week. I haven’t been able to stop crying and my heart is pounding and I’ve never hated myself more WHY did I ever agree to stay home for school because this place is slowly killing me
Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie on Chris Evans’ left boob grabbing problem (x)
I had the weirdest dream about Luke Hemmings???? And it was so cute and I am so very SAD bc not reality